therealhamster:

anyone wanna make out… a check to me for 500,000 dollars

(via sorry)

person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
me: nope
person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
me: i'm not

nikktheconqueerer:

wake up america

musermatt:

musermatt:

Where do text posts go when they die

image

(via reblogayble)

vagisodium:

if someone ever kidnaps me im just going to shit my pants because they either have to wipe my ass or deal with the smell and i want them to have it rough

(Source: trashboat, via harlequinbones)

Me: oh thats cute
Me: no its not

lightningmonkey:

This is why I shouldn’t be let outside